Left Behind
by anotherweasley
Summary: Chapter 21-All complete!!! A Doggett/Reyes fic...don't want to give too much away:)
1. Not Happening

Left Behind  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 1  
  
John saw the circle and his heart stopped beating. He knew he was already too late as he pulled his car off the road and exited quickly leaving the headlights striking a beam of light into the darkness. He willed his leaden feet forward toward the Virginia State police officers that stood in a circle on the hill.  
  
John knew that circle. He knew what it meant. And yet a small spark of hope in him refused to die upon seeing the circle. The circle always meant death. The living surrounding the dead in an almost instinctive, protective manner. It had been so when he found Luke. It had been so when he first found Mulder. It must be so now. And yet maybe, maybe it's not the one, the one he had been so tirelessly in search of.  
  
John reached the circle and it opened, parted, letting him in, letting him become a participant. But he refused to be a participant. He refused to be part of the circle. He walked inside the circle and got down on his knees. He knew, he knew it already, and yet refused to believe right up until he gently brushed the dark hair out of her face. It was then that he believed. He believed in it all. In that moment he absorbed her beliefs and yet lost all faith at the same time. He had forced himself to believe in order to find her and it had amounted to nothing.  
  
Inside the circle, John's tears started to course down his cheeks, hot and heavy. He put his hand to her frozen bruised cheek and he mentally cursed those that had done this to her. They would pay for this. They would pay.  
  
He could feel them pulling him away, trying to separate him from her, separate life from death. Part of him knew they were worried about him tainting evidence. Evidence be damned. He already knew who was responsible. If he had to believe in order to make them pay, then that was a price he was willing to pay.  
  
Denial, anger, grief all exploded in John at that moment. He had been a ticking time bomb and he had finally been set off.  
  
"Noooooo! Noooooo! Nooooooo!," John howled as they pulled him away, separating him from her. John refused to be parted from her. He refused to accept that she was gone, lost, forever separated from her. "Monica!!!!! Monica!!!!!!! Monica!!!!!!!!" he howled again and again and again. But she couldn't hear him. Not anymore. 


	2. Week Earlier

Left Behind  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 2  
  
1 Week Earlier  
Salt Lake City, Utah  
  
"Monica Reyes," she said into her office phone.  
  
"Is this the same Agent Reyes that I use to sit next to in a little basement office in the J. Edgar Hoover Building?"  
  
Monica smiled into the phone at the comforting, familiar voice. "Hey, John."  
  
"How ya doin', Monica?" asked John. She could hear the concern that lay in his question.  
  
Monica's smile only faltered for a moment. "Fine. Fine. Utah's great."  
  
"Well then I guess I made the trip for nothing."  
  
Monica stood up and looked across the office full of agents toward the door where she saw John grinning at her, his cell phone in hand.  
  
"John!" Monica's smile radiated as she quickly bridged the distance between them after hanging up her phone. She had to stop herself from pulling him into a big hug as she became aware of the fact that she had unconsciously garnered the attention of all the other agents in the room. They all knew where she had come from before being forced to join their office. They had already pegged her as being different, spooky. And now with her old partner in the room, they were even more curious. Rumors had floated around that the two had been, or were, tight.  
  
John was more than aware of the stares. They were probably just curious co-workers, but if John had learned one thing from being on the X-Files it was that a person's trust had to be earned. Trust no one except the proven few. He too had heard the rumors and if there was one thing he was overprotective of, next to his partner's life, it was his partner's reputation. He suggested, "Let's take a walk." Monica nodded.  
  
A few minutes later found the two outside the Salt Lake City regional office building. They were silent as they walked out into the sunshine. They shortly came to a park bench that was placed in front of small lake. They sat down, close but not touching.   
  
Neither knew what to say to each other. It had only been three months since they had last seen each other, but back then they had been use to seeing and/or speaking to each other almost every day for over a year. After the X-Files unit had been so unceremoniously closed, they assumed that they were still being watched.   
  
They had kept contact to a minimum and had worked out a code for when they did speak. Three months ago it had seemed like a good idea. Neither had realized the emotional toll the separation would have caused on the two of them or the strength that they had drawn from their partnership. And their code didn't allow them to express what was really in their hearts and minds.   
  
John was the one who finally broke the silence. "So how's work?"  
  
"The anti-terrorism unit is not the X-Files." Monica knew why they had assigned her to Utah. After closing the X-Files, they had wanted to break her, to get her to quit, to separate her and John. She decided to lighten up the mood and to mention something that was a source of pride to her. "I hear good things about you in D.C. I heard A.D. Stricklyn has praised your work in the Missing Persons Bureau."  
  
John just shook his head, trying to deflect her praise. He felt guilty about Monica's transfer. He had fought, more so than Monica knew, to stop her transfer to Utah. He had thought only of keeping them in the same city. When that failed he tried to get himself transferred to Utah, but to no avail. The powers that be were relentless and were higher than either Skinner or Kersh and so John had convinced Monica to accept the transfer for now. They would still work covertly on the X-Files, to get them back. But somehow it seemed that with Mulder and Scully's disappearance, the two had taken away every alien and paranormal case with them. He missed Monica, and despite his skeptic bent, or maybe because of it, he missed the X-Files too. "Like you said, it's not the X-Files, almost too comfortable there. No super soldiers, kids with imaging's that come to life, or Brady Bunch households."  
  
Monica and John both chuckled at memories of times spent on the X-Files. Their current work, although important in it's own way, did seem rather dull in comparison to what they use to investigate.  
  
"I know you're bored in your present assignment....," began John before Monica cut him off.  
  
"I'm thinking about leaving the Bureau."  
  
John was absolutely floored. He had no idea that it had all come to this. For a moment he was panic stricken as well. Where would she go? "And do what, Monica?" You've been with the Bureau since you graduated?"  
  
"I know," said Monica nodding, "and maybe that's the problem. Doesn't it bother you that the same government we serve is conspiring against us? Against the very people we are supposed to protect? I'm not sure what I'll do, but I need a change. I need to get back to where I was. Maybe I'll help Jimmy and Yves for a while until I see. I just don't know what I'm doing here, John. Let's face it. We're no closer to getting the X-Files back than we were three months ago. They'll never let us work together again. And those were the only things that were keeping me here."  
  
John felt her words deeply because they echoed his own. His face broke out into a grin despite all of it. She had not asked him the reason for him breaking silence and traveling all this way to see her. He was about to reveal his reason. "I think I might have found a way to get us back on the X-Files." 


	3. Alien Abduction?

Left Behind  
By: Olivia  
Chapter 3  
  
Monica looked up from the report at John seated beside her. He had other things on his mind as he gazed out the plane window. "John, you don't believe in aliens."  
  
John turned his attention back to her grinning. "That's true, but this could be a way to get the X-Files reopened."  
  
"I can't believe that they are allowing you to investigate this much less allow you to bring me in to consult," said Monica still disbelieving.  
  
John shrugged. "I'm part of the Missing Person's unit and your specialty is cult and ritualistic crimes. Makes perfect sense to me as it did to A.D. Stricklyn."  
  
Monica smiled and shook her head. "I agree that we too are probably the best agents for this task, but as for this case getting the X-Files back...." Monica sighed. She still had her doubts. "Okay this man, Colin Julian Watkins, from all accounts a rather successful lawyer in D.C., with no history of mental illness or professing any belief in aliens, suddenly joins a alien cult. When his parents, living in Canada, worried about him, attempt to contact him a few weeks later, they can't reach him. When they contact the group they are told that he was abducted by aliens, that he was quote "called home."   
  
John nodded. "That about sums it up. My team will have more information ready for us when we land."  
  
Monica looked intently at John. She saw the contradiction. She saw a man who didn't believe in the paranormal trying to reopen a unit based solely on the investigation of the paranormal. He was the skeptic and she was the believer. That's why he was still in Washington and she was cast out to Utah.  
  
John looked up at her and their eyes locked for a moment. For that moment Monica understood why John had brought her unto this case. He was worried about her. He had missed her. With this case, he had found the one way to bring her back into his life without directly stating his feelings for her. But it was more than that as well. She knew John believed in Mulder and Scully. He believed in their integrity, he knew, just as Monica did, that some horrible truth had driven them both into hiding. Deep down Monica knew that he was just afraid to believe, even if he didn't realize it himself.  
  
John broke eye contact and looked down at his empty hands. Monica didn't say anything. She knew John wasn't ready to admit belief right now and there was no reason to push. They almost worked better this way. She knew he believed in her and that was all that mattered right now. So, even though she already knew what he was going to say, she asked, "So you're thinking....?"  
  
"I'm thinkin' that this alien cult group killed Mr. Watkins and are lyin' to cover it up with this alien abduction nonsense."  
  
"But why? For what reason?"  
  
"Dunno yet. Maybe money. Like you said he was a rather successful lawyer. Mabye it had somethin' to do with some case he was workin' on. That's what we're gonna find out. There might be a possibility he's still alive. Maybe they're holdin' him or somethin'. There's been no ransom demand but you never know."  
  
Monica looked back down at the report. Quietly, despite her earlier misgivings about pushing, she asked, "And what if he really has been abducted by aliens?"  
  
When John didn't respond, Monica looked up at him. He had resumed looking out the plane window as the landing platform of Regan National came into view. John's response didn't matter. They already knew the answer. If Watkins had been abducted by aliens there was probably little earthly means the two could use to bring him back.  
  
End of Chapter 3 


	4. Unspoken Feelings

Left Behind  
Chapter 4  
  
John drove Monica down the streets of the nation's capital. Monica took a deep breath and was surprised that the word "home" popped into her head. She had called so many places home in her years after leaving Mexico. Utah was home now and yet somehow this was home too, maybe even more so.  
  
Monica glanced at John. He had been rather silent since they had landed. He only briefly had spoken to some colleagues on his phone and they were now on their way to Mr. Watkin's house to see if they could gather any additional information on his disappearance that the CSU team had missed.  
  
For once Monica couldn't pick up on John' s feelings, as she had been able to so many times in the past. Maybe her own feelings toward him were preventing her from guessing at what was really on his mind. She couldn't stand the silence, the awkwardness. They had been apart for only a few months, but now it was beginning to feel like it had been years, like it had been after Luke's death.  
  
She couldn't stand the silence, not from him, and so she couldn't stop herself from saying something that had always bothered her and yet she wished she hadn't said anything immediately after the words had past her lips. "You miss her don't you?" She thought that maybe this was the reason he was so bent on getting the X-Files back.  
  
John took his eyes off the road for a moment to give Monica a surprised, confused look. "What do you mean, Monica?" And then it dawned on him whom she meant-Dana. John shrugged, still not getting the deeper meaning that Monica's question implied. "Of course I miss her. She was my partner on the X-Files for a year."  
  
"So was I," said Monica quietly as she turned to gaze out the window at the passing city buildings.  
  
It was then that John got what Monica had been implying by her question. He guiltily stole a quick glance at her and for once was glad she was not looking at him. Like so many things between them, his past feelings for Dana were something they didn't discuss. Yes he had loved Dana as many men who took the time, or as in his case had been forced to take the time, to get to know her had fallen in love with her. And yet her heart had been given to one man so many years ago that it was impossible to coax it away now.   
  
Not that John wanted to. It was safe loving Dana, knowing that she would never return his feelings for her. He hadn't allowed himself to be happy for such a very long time. He knew Monica had always had feelings for him. It had flattered him. Who wouldn't be? He had kept his feelings for Monica buried so deep within him, that he hadn't even realized how deeply he cared for her until she was nearly taken away in that near-fatal car crash. The truth was he was scared, scared to admit his feelings to Monica. That way happiness lay and John knew that once he uttered his feelings to her there would be no turning back. What if things went wrong as they had with Barbara? What if one day Monica woke up and realized that he wasn't the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? What if someday they grew apart? The thought of losing Monica, of losing her friendship, was unthinkable.  
  
But John had lost the will to keep Monica at a distance. His intention had never been to hurt her or to make her feel like an outsider. He needed her just as much as she needed him.  
  
They pulled up to Watkin's house. Before Monica could undo her seatbelt and get out of the car, John turned to her and said, "You're my partner, Monica" and then he exited the vehicle. It took Monica a second to catch her breath before she took got out of the car. All doubts about her place in John's heart were erased.  
  
But like so many times in the past, this was neither the time nor the place for discussion about their relationship. There was a missing man out there, a missing man who needed their help.  
  
End of Chapter 4 


	5. Native Son

Left Behind  
Chapter 5  
  
"Thank you for coming down here to see us, Mrs. Watkins," said Monica as she and John took seats on the sofa across from the missing man's mother.  
  
Mrs. Watkins merely nodded. Both she and John could see the strain the loss of her son had already taken on her. There was fear and uncertainty in her eyes. She was already well into her late fifties, maybe early sixties, and it looked like the strain of all this had aged her even more. She gave them a sad, but grateful smile. Mrs. Watkin's slight French Canadian accent was apparent as she said, "Thank you for all you're doing. When he went missing, I just had to come down here as quickly as I could. My husband is tying up a few loose ends in Quebec and then he'll join me here as well."  
  
"Mrs. Watkins, is there anythin' that you can remember Colin sayin' to you the weeks prior to his disappearance?" asked John. He hated this part of his job. He hated talking to the parents of missing and killed children. It didn't matter how old your child was, he or she was still your child. Must have been how Monica felt in dealing with him all those years ago. Hell, she was still dealing with him. He felt this connection to Mrs. Watkins and yet brushed it aside. He had to focus on the missing man and he had no time for the luxuries of personal reflection. In his heart, he felt that Colin was probably dead, but there was no evidence either way as to his fate.  
  
But Mrs. Watkins had no clues. "No. All he told me was that he had found a new group and that he thought they might somehow be the key to finding his birth parents. I didn't see how a group devoted to aliens was going to help him find his birth parents, but he just seemed so excited about it, I didn't want to discourage him."  
  
This news got both Monica and John's attention. "Colin was adopted?" Monica asked. Their report had not noted that fact. It could be insignificant but at the same time it might be the clue that would help them crack this case wide open.  
  
"Yes. When he was old enough, we told him. We love him so very much, but felt he had a right to know."  
  
Before John could open his mouth to make another inquiry, Monica asked, "Then are you or your husband U.S. citizens?"   
  
John gave Monica a quizzical look uncertain as to where this line of questioning was leading.   
  
Mrs. Watkins shook her head. "No, our citizenship is Canadian. Colin was born here in the U.S. so when we adopted him, he was granted dual citizenship."  
  
"That's sorta odd isn't it? Most Americans who can't adopt children here look to other countries. Most other countries don't adopt American children," said John.  
  
"Yes it is," agreed Mrs. Watkins. "I have no idea who Colin's birth parents are. All I know is that it was the special request of the birth mother that he be placed with a family outside of the U.S., but somewhere in either North or South America. Very odd I agree, but we were just so lucky to get Colin it didn't matter to us."  
  
John was about to say something else when his cell phone rang. "Excuse me." John left the living room and moved into the kitchen. The two women could hear him quietly talking to someone.  
  
Monica for her part was burning with curiosity. She looked down at the pictures of Colin that Mrs. Watkins had put on the coffee table for John and her to look at. She took in his dark hair, his eyes, and facial features. He looked happy at the various stages of his life. Monica felt an internal chill cut through her. The resemblance was striking and she wondered why she hadn't noticed it before. Monica smiled at Mrs. Watkins, "He seems very happy. He must make you very proud."  
  
Mrs. Watkins smiled at Monica and at the memories of happier times with her son. "Yes, Rene and I are very proud of him. We were sad when he decided to move to the United States and be so far away, but he always felt drawn to the land of his birth. Even as a child the U.S fascinated him. It is hard for a child growing up in a world that they are not quite a part of. I supposed that doesn't make much sense."  
  
"No actually it makes perfect sense."  
  
Mrs. Watkins looked down at the pictures and picked up a few of Colin when he was toddler. She contemplated out loud as she looked at them. "Even as a child he had a very sensitive nature. Sometimes he knew how I was feeling even before I did. Even now, sometimes he'll call out of the blue and just at the times I need to speak to him the most." Mrs. Watkins looked up at Monica. She finally forced out the question that she had been dreading the answer to since Monica and John first walked into her life, but she had to know. The uncertainty was what was driving her slowly crazy. "Do you think....do you think Colin is still alive?"  
  
Monica didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to give false hope and yet at the same time there was no body, no ransom, and no forensic evidence to suggest foul play. There was still hope. So Monica responded the only way she could, "I don't know Mrs. Watkins. There's nothing to suggest that anything has happened to him yet. For now he is just missing."  
  
"But what do you think about this group claiming that he was...abducted by aliens?"  
  
Monica shook her head. "So far there is nothing to suggest that either."  
  
"I'm finding it...difficult to believe that aliens abduct people Agent Reyes. What purpose would that serve? You don't believe in aliens do you?"  
  
Monica didn't want to frightening Mrs. Watkins and tell here that she did believe so she quickly changed the conversation and asked a question that had been nagging her for a little bit. "Mrs. Watkins, Colin's name, did you chose it or was that given to him by his birth parents?"  
  
"We kept his name as was on the adoption papers."  
  
"Even his middle name."  
  
"Yes. I'm not really certain where this all is going? Do you really think Colin's adoption has anything to do with this?"  
  
"I'm not sure," said Monica honestly. She knew she had to talk to someone right away. She glanced in John's direction and saw that he was still on the phone. She turned her attention back to Mrs. Watkins. "I'm sorry, would you mind excusing me for a moment. There's a call I need to make."  
  
Before Mrs. Watkins could make a reply, Monica had left the living room and gone out the front door. She pulled out her cell phone and hit the speed dial button that was all too familiar. 


	6. Strange Relations

Left Behind  
Chapter 6  
  
John walked out of Colin Watkin's home to find Monica talking in Spanish on the phone. She was so totally engrossed in her conversation that she failed to notice that John had come up beside her.   
  
So John enjoyed these few moments to observe Monica unnoticed. His Spanish from high school was rusty so he was only able to pick up a few words here and there. He had made a mental note after the X-Files had closed to practice his Spanish and now he wished he had done so.  
  
Monica finally noticed him standing there. She quickly said her good-byes and hung up the phone.  
  
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that wasn't a local call," said John with a teasing smile.  
  
Monica only frowned. "Yes, I called to speak with my parents."  
  
"Anythin' wrong?" asked John concerned.  
  
Monica thought for a moment. "Everything. Or maybe nothing."  
  
"Whadda ya mean?"  
  
"Don't you think it's a little odd that Colin Watkins is adopted by parents outside the U.S....."  
  
"Well, it's strange but...."  
  
Monica cut John off, "and look at this picture." Monica held out Colin's picture to John who simply didn't know what he was supposed to be looking at. And then there's his middle name of all things."  
  
John was thoroughly confused. "I'm not getting the connection."  
  
"The connection may be to me."  
  
"What?" John asked incredulously. "How do you go from a man who disappears to you, Monica?"  
  
"Don't you see the resemblance?" asked Monica again referring to the picture. "I was adopted to you know. I too was born in the U.S. but adopted by a family outside of it. And the names John, look at the names. His middle name is Julian and mine's Juliet."  
  
John just stared at Monica for a few moments. He was trying not to let his frustration turn into an attack on her as it he had let it so many times in the past. They just didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things and what he most loved about her were the things that most drove him crazy. What made them good working partners also made them personally frustrated from time to time at each other. Just like old times, he thought. We catch a case and she goes running one way with it and I go the other.  
  
"John, I know you think this is crazy, but I think I'm connected somehow to this man Colin. I know nothing about my birth family. The ages are about right that he could be my brother. Mrs. Watkins says he was drawn to come back here, back to this country. She says he was sensitive, that he could sense how other people were feeling."  
  
John inwardly sighed. He knew there was no getting through to his partner but he had to try. "Monica, a lot of children are adopted, even outside of their birth country. Sometimes we find people who resemble us. They may physically look like us or share our personality, but that doesn't mean that we are biologically related to them. You can't just take two and two and get five."  
  
But Monica wasn't buying it. After all they had seen, after all they had experienced, he still refused to believe. Her temper flared for a moment at John's resistance. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that I might be connected to this case?"  
  
John took a step in closer to Monica invading her personal space. They had been back together for less than 24 hours and they were already starting to butt heads. The truth was he hadn't until this moment looked at the situation from Monica's eyes. He had always taken for granted knowing exactly who his family was and where he came from. As much as he knew Monica loved her adoptive parents, she couldn't really say where she came from. Her past was cloudy and dark and so she was grasping onto the one thing that she felt could make clear what had been hidden from her for so long. But John only saw disappointment for Monica if she continued along this train of thought. And the last thing he would ever want is to see her disappointed.  
  
"Monica," John began quietly. He waited until her eyes met his. He spoke from his heart. "I don't believe that you are connected to this case, not because I refuse to believe but because I don't see the connection. And I don't wanna see you disappointed when this doesn't pan out the way you want it to. Colin Watkins is just a man, a man for his parent's sake, I hope is very much alive. But that is all he is."  
  
Monica eyes told him that she was still unconvinced but grateful for his concern. John let out his breath. Darkness was gathering around the two. "Look," John said. "It's late and we've got nothing to go on now. It's been a long day and we could both use a rest. We can start fresh tomorrow."  
  
Monica nodded her agreement. "Okay. Okay. My stuff's in the trunk. Do you think you can drop me off at a hotel near your house? It'll probably save us time and be more convenient."  
  
"Nonsense, you're staying at my house," said John before he thought of the consequences of his words. 


	7. Bad Dreams

Left Behind  
Chapter 7  
  
"Monica. Monica!"  
  
Monica jerked herself into a sitting position. Sweat covered her body. Her heart pounded in her chest. She was frightened. She had absolutely no idea where she was. It was pitch black in the room, but she turned to the voice that had called her name.  
  
"Monica, it's me."  
  
Monica's eyes adjusted to the dark in a few moments. John was kneeling by her bedside. She saw John's worried eyes searching hers, making certain that she was okay. Was she okay?  
  
John inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. For a second he noted that when she jerked up her bed covers had fallen away to reveal that she wore some sort of black silk nightgown and for once John wished his partner wore more masculine attire to bed. It would definitely help keep his mind more focused on work related matters. John quickly pushed these thoughts aside. "You okay? You were callin' out in yer sleep."  
  
Monica nodded shakily as she tried to catch her breath. "Nothing."  
  
John gave her a look that told her he didn't believe her for a second.  
  
"Bad dream," said Monica unwillingly but realizing that John wasn't going to let her be until she told him what was wrong.  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" asked John as he took a seat on the floor beside her bed. He'd been the gentleman and good host by offering up his bed to her and taking the couch for himself.  
  
Monica voice cracked slightly as she recounted her dream. "Angry voices. Tears. There were people, men I think...and they were taking me away...away from you maybe? I tried to fight them but I couldn't. I was flying....I don't know. And then the next thing I was lying on the ground and I was cold, so very cold. There were people standing around me. I wanted to talk to them, but I...I had no voice. Someone was yelling...angry. Then I woke up."  
  
John wanted to tell her that this was all a bad dream that none of it was true, but he knew he couldn't comfort Monica in that way. He knew he would merely be wasting his breath. She believed in dreams whereas he did not. She believed in a lot of things that he didn't. He didn't know what to tell her so he told her the same thing that he had told Luke when he had a bad dream. "It's nothing. It's not real. Just a bad dream." Shrug it off. Pretend like nothing's wrong.  
  
Monica nodded, not entirely convinced. It might be a bad dream, but then it might not be. But she didn't want to worry John. She could sense his anxiety over her. She smiled at him in an attempt to reassure him that she believed him, that everything was fine. She repeated his words. "Just a bad dream."  
  
John nodded appeased that Monica was okay. Monica laid back down, her head on the pillow. She pulled the covers up over her shoulders. "I'm okay," she told him.  
  
"I'm just gonna wait here til you fall back asleep," John said as he turned and leaned his back against the edge of the bed.  
  
Monica opened her mouth to protest. She wasn't a child who needed a parent to keep the monsters away until she fell asleep. But then she felt the bone deep chill that she couldn't seem to shake course through her despite all of the blankets on the bed. Something wasn't right, but she felt better with John in the room with her. She smiled slightly, gratefully, and closed her eyes. "Thanks, John," she murmured.  
  
"Anytime," he said with a half smile as she drifted back to sleep.  
  
About fifteen minutes later, John could tell that Monica was back into a deep, more restful sleep. Her breathing was normal, regular. He turned his head to look at her. She looked so peaceful sleeping. John didn't believe in dreams but there was a nagging doubt in the back of his mind. Maybe Monica was somehow connected to all of this? Maybe Monica was in as much danger as this Colin fellow was? "I'm never gonna to let anythin' happen to you, Monica," he whispered. It was a promise he had made to her at her beside after that near fatal car accident and he reaffirmed it here. 


	8. Skinner's Help

Left Behind  
Chapter 8  
  
"Agent Reyes."  
  
Startled, Monica turned around in the doorway. She looked down the FBI headquarters hallway, but could barely make out whom the man was. When he stepped forward and she saw his face she smiled. "Sir. It's good to see you. When I came here this morning, I stopped by to see you but I was told by your secretary that you were on a business trip."  
  
Skinner gave Monica a slight smile. "Yes, she told me. When I saw Agent Doggett at his cubical he said you had disappeared for a few moments. I figured this is where you had gone."  
  
Both of them turned to gaze into what had formerly been the X-Files Office. All that was there now were a bunch of high-powered copiers. They looked as if they had never been used.  
  
"They turned it into a copier room," said Monica who couldn't hide the layer of anger that lay right underneath her words. "All Mulder and Scully's work, gone...."  
  
Gently, Skinner said, "And you and John's work as well."  
  
All Monica could do was nod to keep the feelings of sadness welling up inside her at bay.   
  
Skinner walked past Monica, deeper into the room. "I once had a conversation with Agent Mulder here soon after Scully had been returned from her abduction. We didn't know whether or not she would live. Mulder tried to tender his resignation. I told him when I first came here, this was the copier room and Mulder had replied that at least back then it wasn't just wasted space."  
  
Monica too stepped further into the room looking around as she did. She imagined it all as it once had been. Her and John's desks, computers, equipment, the files, the I Want To Believe Poster that John surprisingly still held in his possession at home. "Far be it for me to disagree with Agent Mulder, but I'd say having copiers here is more of a waste of space."  
  
"I agree as would Mulder now. He was very angry at the time, angry at what had been done to Scully, frustrated by moving one step forward and being pushed two steps back. At that time, it took a lot for me to convince him to stay."  
  
Monica turned to look at him. "Wanting to stay's not the problem. Getting the X-Files back is."  
  
"In all the years that I have been here, the X-Files have been closed, more than once, and then there was that time that two other Agents besides Mulder and Scully were assigned to work the unit. They can't keep them closed forever. As long as the truth is out there, as long as you and John are willing to fight, they can't stay closed."   
  
"You know, for some reason I'm reminded of what Agent Harrison said one day to me in the hallway before I left for Utah. She said the magic was still with John and I."  
  
Skinner chuckled softly. He then turned serious, his voice apologetic. "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to prevent your removal to Utah."  
  
Monica waved away any apology. "It wasn't your fault. Maybe if I hadn't said those things during Mulder's trial. I was angry. I still am. But I stand by what I said. I wouldn't take it back even if I could."  
  
Skinner nodded. "I had a feeling it probably had a lot to do with that. They fear you. They couldn't prove that we all helped Mulder escape, but they can still punish us." Skinner took a breath and took a short walk around the office. "As dangerous at it was I still miss supervising the X-Files." Skinner came back up to Monica, studying her. "You're different in many ways, but you still remind me so much of him."  
  
Monica smiled teasingly knowing that he was referring to Mulder. "Much to my partner's frustration."  
  
Skinner shook his head. "No this office needs two distinct individuals to come at cases from different angles. It wouldn't survive otherwise. You made me think again of that conversation I had with Mulder years ago. I told him that he wasn't afraid to look into extreme possibilities, just as you are not afraid. Mulder always found a way to get the X-Files back and I know you will too."  
  
Monica was touched by Skinner's comments. But before things could turn awkward, Skinner coughed and turned their conversation in a different direction. "Agent Doggett called me about your case while I was away. I did some investigating on my own."   
  
Skinner handed Monica a piece of paper. It was a number. Skinner explained. "That's a trace of the number that called Mrs. Watkins to tell her that her son had been abducted by aliens. Thought it might help."  
  
"Thanks," said Monica gratefully.  
  
"I also," Skinner cleared his throat hoping he wasn't betraying any secret, "I was also told that you may be connected to this case. I did some digging, made a few calls, without a court order I have no authority to access your adoption records."  
  
Monica, instead of being upset at John for talking to Skinner of her adoption or at Skinner for looking into her past, was grateful for his help. "I know. I haven't had any success in finding out who my birth parents are." Monica didn't go into how painful the whole situation was. From time to time, she wanted to know her past, wanted to know who her birth parents were. But they had given her up right? And she loved her adoptive parents. They were the one who had taken her in and loved her. She was their child. And yet part of her wondered, especially after Scully had given up William, if maybe her birth parents had wanted to protect her. Maybe they did this to make things better for her. But all this Monica couldn't tell Skinner as much as she trusted him.  
  
Skinner voice went even softer. "It's much more than that. Your file seems to have been lost in a recent move. They also had been attempting to put those files into computer files, but a virus seems to have gotten into the system making any retrieval impossible."  
  
"Are you saying that there is something more to my adoption? Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Monica was incredulous at the implications.  
  
"I'm saying," began Skinner. He sighed softly, frustrated. He didn't know what to tell Monica. "I'm saying that maybe there is. But these are government agencies, Agent Reyes. Losing files is not uncommon. Hackers uploading computer viruses are not uncommon. I don't know what to tell you. I just...I've seen Agent Mulder too many times disappointed in his search for his sister. I don't want the same thing to happen to you."  
  
Monica took everything in. She didn't know what to say or think. Too many maybe's, too many possible connections. But she did know that finding Colin would go a long way to helping her explain these questions. She was more determined than ever to find him. She looked up at Skinner. "Thank you for this information, Sir," she said gratefully. "Agent Doggett and I will run this number down."  
  
Monica turned to leave, heading out the door and away from over a year of memories in that office. All Skinner could do was watch her go as she waited for the elevator to arrive. In his heart, he wished her all the best but somehow feared that this case would end up in her disappointment. But maybe, just maybe, the two of them would be able to get the X-Files back. They just needed to prove how important the unit was. 


	9. Confidential Informant

Left Behind  
Chapter 9  
  
For three days Monica and John had sat in their FBI sedan watching the apartment building of Alexis Chamberlain. They had traced the mysterious phone call to Mrs. Watkins about her son's abduction by aliens to this residence. So far they had seen nothing of Ms. Chamberlain.  
  
Monica looked at a copy of the driver's license photo of Chamberlain. She practically had the photo memorized. There was no way that she would accidentally miss her. "I don't think she's coming back, John. If she's even the person we're looking for. They may have scrambled the call for all we know."  
  
John smiled at her teasingly. "Tired of my company already?"  
  
Monica gave John a look, but John could tell that it was only in jest. "You know that's not what I meant."  
  
A silence settled over them again. There was only so much one could say to another during a stakeout and not drive each other crazy.  
  
Finally Monica broke the silence again. "You ever wonder about Mulder and Scully? What they're up to?"  
  
John cleared his throat not really certain where Monica was going with this. He felt uncomfortable, but he replied truthfully, "`Course."  
  
A second later John realized where this was going when Monica said, "I wonder what it was that Mulder saw that scared him so badly. I wonder what it was that he was too scared to tell anybody, even Scully. He might have been able to save his life with it and he still refused to speak."  
  
"Well I think whatever it is, Scully knows by now." John paused before mentioning something that had irked him, but more than that, had caused him some pain. "It was odd though. As much as they trusted the two of us, they kept us in the dark a lot. Like we could never quite earn their trust." John turned and looked at Monica realizing how open she had always been to him. She never hid anything from him. She trusted him.  
  
"I don't know, John. I don't think it was ever about trust. They trusted us. I feel more like they were trying to protect us."  
  
John opened his mouth to protest how little good protecting them was when the truth might have saved the X-Files, saved them all. But he never got the chance because the back door opened and a woman got in, closing the door behind her. John and Monica turned quickly to see who it was.  
  
"Who are you?" John asked the blonde woman who had taken a sit in the back of their sedan. She looked nervous, on edge.  
  
"My name is Marita."  
  
Monica nodded. "We've heard of you. You testified at Mulder's trial. You were one of his informants."  
  
Marita nodded. "He saved my life when his own life was in danger and I'm here to return the favor."  
  
"Mulder's not here. We don't know where he is," explained John. He didn't know that he'd tell this woman even if he did.  
  
"I know, but you two are here aren't you? Continuing the work?" Marita's question was more a statement.  
  
"We're investigating the disappearance of a man," said John vaguely although he felt certain that Marita already knew that and a lot more. "What do you know?"  
  
Marita looked even more uncomfortable than she had when she first entered the car. "Mulder and Scully know as well as I do that the timetable has already been set. They don't know how to stop it, but...." Marita looked at Monica.  
  
John noticed it too and suddenly he was the one that was feeling uncomfortable, worried. "But what?!"  
  
Marita turned her attention back to John and handed him a piece of paper. "Ms. Chamberlain is not coming back here." She waited until John had glanced at the paper before saying, "He will have the answers you seek although he may be unwilling to part with them."  
  
Before either one of them could make a comment or ask any further questions, Marita exited the vehicle. She quickly crossed the street and they lost sight of her in the crowd.  
  
They sat for a few moments before Monica said, "We have to go, John." He looked at her and she could see all the arguments against it that we're on the tip of his tongue. She didn't have to say anything though. She knew his sense of duty to find Colin and reunite him with his family would win out over all the other considerations. Who would know the pain of a missing child better than himself? The danger to themselves was not concrete and so despite not completely trusting Marita, not completely assured of his or Monica's safety, John started up the car engine. 


	10. Xavier Weasley

Left Behind   
Chapter 10  
  
Monica and John pulled up to the address Marita had given them. The got out of their car and walked up to the red brick house. John knocked on the front door. There was no answer. He knocked again, this time shouting, "Mr. Xavier Weasley! We are FBI agents! We've come to ask you a few questions!" Still no response.  
  
Monica peered through a slit in the curtain that hung on the window next to the door. She saw a man moving hurriedly to the back of the house. She looked up at John and mouthed, "Back door."  
  
John nodded. Monica took off around the house to the back door while John covered the front entrance. By the time she had gotten around to the back, the man in the house was already climbing over the back yard fence into an ally way. "Stop!" yelled Monica, but to no avail. The blond haired man simply looked at her for a second, took in her raised gun and then proceeded to jump the rest of the way over the fence. He was booking it down the ally and headed into a small patch of woods by the time Monica had started climbing the metal fence.   
  
Monica got over the fence just in time to see John barreling around the block and throwing himself at the man knocking him to the pavement before he got a chance to reach the woods. Monica rushed up, gun raised in order to protect her partner as John forced the man into handcuffs. Out of breath, adrenaline rushing, John turned the man over and looked at him for a second. He reached into the man's coat pocket and pulled out a gun. He then reached into his other pocket and pulled out his wallet. John opened it and looked at the driver's license. He flashed it to Monica who nodded. John turned his attention back to the man lying up on his back looking at him with anger.  
  
"Mr. Weasley, we're gonna need to take you in for questioning," said John. 


	11. Friendly Warning?

Left Behind  
Chapter 11  
  
Xavier Weasley looked smugly across the interrogation room table at Agents Reyes and Doggett. "You have nothing on me. My lawyer will be arriving soon and then I'll be leaving."  
  
John shook his head at this man's arrogance. "We have you on a weapons charge Mr. Weasley. Yer not just gonna walk on outta here. Carryin' an unlicensed firearm, a concealed weapon, I might add, is against the law. So is kidnappin' and murder. We just haven't figure out which one to charge you with yet."  
  
"As for the weapons charge, I'll pay the fine. As for Colin Watkins, I had nothing to do with his disappearance," said Weasley still unfazed.  
  
"So you do know that he is missing," said Doggett. He had gotten Weasley talking and now they needed to get more information out of him.  
  
Weasley seemed to realize what he had done. It would have been better to have kept his mouth shut but he was inclined to play along with the agents. "Yes I know he is missing."  
  
"Did you're little cult have anythin' to do with that?" asked Doggett with an edge to his voice.  
  
"No, Mr. Watkins was abducted by aliens."  
  
"Really?" asked John sarcastically.  
  
They two eyed each other, while Monica quietly observed the two from her own chair. Finally, it was Weasley who blinked. "I was carrying the gun for my own protection."  
  
"Protection against what exactly?" asked John. "Now I'm not a believer in aliens Mr. Weasley, but somehow I have a feelin' that a gun would be quite useless against an all powerful alien."   
  
"It wasn't to protect me from aliens. It was to protect myself from them. I thought that you and your partner were there, that you were coming for me."  
  
John just glared at him. "And who are they that you are referrin' to?"  
  
"You work for them."  
  
"You mean the government? I've about had enough of this "the government is out to get you" crap! Now I wanna know where Colin Watkins is!"  
  
Xavier turned his attention to Monica. Looking at her he said, "She believes."  
  
"Listen, Agent Reyes believes what I believe-that you're a liar and a murderer!" John was angry at Weasley for toying with them. And if there was one thing he would not tolerate was some punk trying to mess with his partner. "Tell me what you've done with Colin Watkins!"  
  
Xavier turned his attention back to John. "Colin came to us a few months ago. He had been having horrible visions about being abducted by aliens. They had been getting violent and intense. He came to one of our meetings. I spoke with him. Told him he was in danger, but he already knew that. He already knew the truth."  
  
The hairs on Monica's arms were rising. A chill past through her. After that first night at John's she had still been having the dreams, but had not told John about them. She hadn't wanted to frighten him. But was she in danger? Cautiously, she asked, "The truth about what?"  
  
John stole a quick glance at Monica at the sound of her voice. What he saw in her eyes made him uneasy. Perhaps he should have questioned Xavier alone? This man was playing right into her fears.  
  
Xavier took a deep breath. He leaned in and whispered, "Colin knew the truth and he shared it with us. The timetable has been set."  
  
"Timetable? What timetable?" asked John.  
  
"For colonization of the planet on December 22, 2012."  
  
"By what? Aliens? Come on Weasley. You can do better than that," said John shaking his head at this man's audacity and confabulations. He wasn't buying it for a second.  
  
Weasley eyes flashed with anger. "You disbelievers, you're all alike. But you'll see Agent Doggett. It'll be too late to help you or anyone else, but you'll see. This knowledge has driven people, good people, into hiding, people who might have been able to stop this. They're destroying anyone or anything that stands in their way."  
  
"Like Colin Watkins," said Monica quietly as she observed Weasley.  
  
"Yes, he...," Weasley looked as if he was about to say something, but then changed his mind. He had said too much already.  
  
John opened his mouth to reply but was stopped when a cop opened the interrogation room door. A man entered behind him. "I'm Mr. Weasley's attorney and I'm going to ask you to cease any and all questions to my client!"  
  
John inwardly sighed at the lost opportunity to gain any information on the whereabouts of Colin Watkins as he and Monica stood up. They proceeded to the door. Monica walked in front of John and out of the room. John threw Weasley a threatening look and turned around to leave the room. The sound of Weasley's voice calling his name stopped him. John saw that Monica had already walked down the hall, but John turned to see what Weasley wanted. Weasley was eyeing him steadily, as he said, "Look to your partner, Agent Doggett. They know what I know. They'll be coming for her." 


	12. Doubting John

Left Behind  
Chapter 12  
  
"I have to admit Agents," said A. D. Stricklyn as he sat down wearily behind his desk, "this case is sounding like something from an X-File."  
  
Doggett and Reyes both returned A.D. Stricklyn even look.  
  
"Sir," began Agent Doggett apologetically, but Stricklyn waved away any explanation.  
  
"When I agreed to allow you to bring Agent Reyes in to consult on this case, I think I failed to look at the ramifications of such a decision. I'm beginning to see why even my superiors felt that closing down the X-Files and separating you two was a good idea." Stricklyn ran his right hand through his salt and pepper hair and looked down at his desk. "Just look at this report. It reads like something out that SciFi miniseries "Taken"-alien abductions, government conspiracies." Stricklyn suddenly looked up, right at Doggett. "Surely you don't believe in any of this do you?"  
  
John could feel his throat begin to constrict and could feel Monica's eyes turning to look at him. Her eyes burned into him the longer he left the question unanswered. Finally, truthfully, painfully, he did speak, "No." John couldn't even hazard a look at Monica. He already knew what'd he'd see-disappointment, anger, hurt.  
  
Stricklyn nodded his head. This is exactly what he had wanted to hear. "I think you need to push this Weasley character. He knows where Colin Watkins is, if he hasn't murdered him yet. I'm assuming that's the conclusion you have come to Agent Doggett."  
  
John cleared his throat and said softly, "Yes, Sir."  
  
"Well daylights burning. Get to it Agents. I expect a better progress report next time."  
  
John and Monica got up. John started to follow Monica when A.D. Stricklyn called him back for one more word. Monica didn't even bother looking back as she crossed the rest of the distance to the door and walked out. Inwardly sighing, John turned back to face his superior.  
  
"You're old partner's going to get you into trouble John. You have a promising career ahead of you now. Don't let blind loyalty destroy that." 


	13. Harsh Words

Left Behind  
Chapter 13  
  
John walked out of A.D. Stricklyn's office just in time to see Monica slip into an empty office down the hall. She probably needed time to cool off. He probably should leave her alone. But the truth was, he couldn't leave her alone. At least not since she almost died in that car accident and he had nearly lost her forever. He could never leave her alone after that.   
  
He felt horrible standing there staring at the door she had closed behind her. He had let her down. He knew this. But he also knew that he had told the truth. She had to respect that. Didn't she? Dana had said that she had held herself back because she was afraid to believe. Was he afraid to believe? He didn't think so. Show him the irrefutable proof and he'd believe.  
  
John looked up and found himself standing right outside the door Monica had walked through a few seconds ago. He took a deep breath and released it. His hand grasped the silver knob and he opened the door. He walked in, seeing only her back, as he gently closed the door behind him.  
  
"Monica," John began, but he never got farther than that. Monica had turned around at the sound of his voice. Her eyes were flashing with anger, betrayal, and disappointment. He just stood there staring at her like a person seeing a tornado for the first time. There was the wonder, but there was also the fear that accompanied the wonder. He had seen her angry before, hell he had even seen her occasionally angry at himself, but never this angry.  
  
She had of course seen him angry before and he had risen his voice to her several times. But for the most part she had borne his rants patiently and without equal anger. Maybe deep down she had known that he had never been angry with her-with her ideas yes, but never with her. But she was angry with him now.  
  
"Why didn't you just say it in there?" Monica demanded, her voice shaking full of hurt and betrayal. "Why did you just tell Stricklyn you think I'm as crazy as Spooky Mulder?"  
  
John suddenly felt like he had been put on the defensive. He felt his temperature starting to rise, but he tried to keep calm. This will all blow over shortly, he thought. "Monica, all I did was tell him what I honestly thought. I told the truth. You of all people should respect that. You know I don't think you're crazy."  
  
But Monica wasn't letting John hide behind what he considered the truth. "The truth? The truth is you walk around with blinders on, unable to see, unable to take a leap of faith! You could look truth right in the face and still not believe!"  
  
That's when John lost it. Who was she to accuse him? "I'm not like you Monica! I don't believe in something just because someone says it's so!"  
  
Had John been shouting? He realized he had because suddenly a deathly silence filled the space between them. They eyed each other, neither one in the mood to calm down much less apologize for the harsh words that had passed between them.  
  
Finally it was Monica who spoke, her angry lying right beneath her calm voice. "Well if that's your opinion of me, I don't know why you bothered to bring me in on this case. It's obvious that you already have it all figure out."  
  
With that Monica walked around him and out the door. He was alone. John walked over to the empty desk and slumped into the chair. He was also sorry for the things he had said, but he was too angry to apologize right now. Better to let Monica have some time to cool down. And himself too he thought. He'd apologize later when she came back to his home for the night. But then a fearful thought struck John. She was coming back to his house right? 


	14. Monica Muses

Left Behind   
Chapter 14  
  
Monica couldn't remember having been this angry since they had officially shut the X-Files down. But at least then, at least then, John and her had been on the same side of that anger. Now they didn't have to worry about her and John. Divided the two of them would fall apart. The X-Files would never be put back together.  
  
Monica got into her SUV and drove out of the FBI underground parking garage like a bat out of hell. She tried to calm herself down. John was just being John. He was stubborn. And so am I, she admitted ruefully to herself. It was just that she had been patient with him for so long. She had stood by time and time again as he raised his voice to her ranting about how crazy and wrong her ideas were. She knew deep down he didn't think she was crazy. She knew he cared about her. But something inside her had snapped in A.D. Stricklyn's office. Maybe it would have been different if it had been Skinner in there instead of Stricklyn. The stakes would have been different. Skinner would have expected the two of them to be on different sides of the playing field in regards to their ideas on the case. Stricklyn felt no love toward the X-Files so instead it felt like John had hung her out to dry. This is what she got after she had backed him up so many times throughout their careers. She had thought she had seen a change in him since that case with the man who loved the Brady Bunch. It appeared she had been wrong.  
  
He's just afraid to believe, Monica's mind whispered. You need to give him time. But we don't have time and neither does Colin.  
  
Monica looked up and realized she had driven herself to Weasley's house. She put the car into park and shut off the engine. John and her had started out this case determined to find Colin Watkins and that's just what she was going to do. Let John explore his own angle. She was going to explore hers. First, she needed more answers. 


	15. John Worries

Left Behind  
Chapter 15  
  
It had been dark for hours. John had not heard from Monica since their awful fight at headquarters. Things that shouldn't have been uttered were now spoken. There was no way he could take back what he had done or said, but he was calm now and ready to apologize. Only she wasn't here to apologize to.  
  
She should be home by now, thought John as he got up off the sofa and began to pace around his living room. Home? John was surprised at his use of the word and yet he could not deny it. She was his home. He, like his house, was empty without her.  
  
She was probably fine. Just cooling off. She was an excellent FBI agent fully capable of taking care of herself. He would trust her with his own life.  
  
Still doubt was nagging at him. This was so unlike her not to contact him. It wasn't like they hadn't disagreed before. It wasn't like they hadn't had minor spats before over work. But then they hadn't had that bad of a fight before. They had made work personal in that fight.  
  
But Monica was always a consummate professional. At the very least, they were still on a case searching for a missing man. She wouldn't just run off in the middle of the case, not with someone's life on the line. Someone she thought might be her brother.  
  
A cold chill suddenly swept through John. His heart stopped beating. Monica wouldn't have given up on the case. If she thought he was so against her line of reasoning, if she thought that the only way to save Watkins was her own way....  
  
John quickly threw on his jacket and grabbed his keys. He knew where Monica would have gone. But before he could leave his house, his phone started ringing. He practically leapt for the phone. 


	16. Plot Thickens

Left Behind  
Chapter 16  
  
"Where is she you son of a bitch?!"  
  
Strong hands, Skinner's hands, yanked John away from Weasley.   
  
John still tried to reach for Weasley, still tried to get his hands around his neck and ring the truth out of him. "Tell me where she is!!!! You brought her out here now tell me where she is!!!!!" John screamed.  
  
Skinner roughly pushed John away from the cop car where Weasley was handcuffed, shaken.  
  
"You're not helping her, John. This is not helping her." Skinner's voice was stern but sympathetic.  
  
John just stared at Skinner through the darkness. The rain that had been light upon him first leaving home had now become almost a steady downpour. John felt like crying. No one would notice in all this rain. He felt powerless, useless. The same way he had felt when Luke had gone missing. At least then he had had Monica. And now...   
  
All John could think about was the way he had treated Monica, the angry words he had spoken. He felt as if he was literally dead inside at this moment. At least with Luke, at least with him, he had known that his father loved him. Monica didn't know, she didn't...   
  
John fought his attention back to what Skinner was saying, unable to completely give into despair if there was even a glimmer of hope.   
  
"The campers in the surrounding areas confirm Weasley's story. There was a bright light and a flying aircraft of unknown origin. I've got every available agent searching these woods but..." Skinner didn't say it. He couldn't say it. He had been down this road before. History was repeating itself. He had been powerless to save Mulder then just as he was powerless to save Monica now.  
  
"Over here!"  
  
The nearby shout of an agent got everyone's attention. John's heart swelled with hope and fear simultaneously. Doggett and Skinner when running toward the sound of the shout, nearly slipping in the darkness on the wet grass. Eventually, finally, they reached the agent and looked down in disbelief at the obviously dead body lying on the ground.  
  
"No, oh God no," John whispered. "It's Colin Watkins." 


	17. Lone Gunmen

Left Behind  
Chapter 17  
  
"Assistant Director."  
  
"Yves," said Skinner in reply to the serious, beautiful, brunette with the British accent. Old habits die hard and he forgot to call her by her real name-Lois. It didn't matter though because she preferred to be called by her alias.  
  
Yves stepped back away from the door and allowed Skinner to enter. He did and Yves closed the door behind him activating a new and better security system. Well, anything beyond the trio's multiple locks, which someone could easily have broken through, and did on occasion, would be considered better.   
  
Skinner surveyed the Lone Gunmen office and spied more computers and equipment than had been here when Langly, Byers, and Frohike had been alive. Skinner felt a sudden pang in his heart, which he would have admitted to no one. The office was a painful reminder that the three were lost forever after having dedicated, and in the end given, their lives to the greater good. They had made the ultimate sacrifice.   
  
The equipment could have come from either Yves or Jimmy, Skinner thought. The boys had been broke after spending every last dime to try and find Yves after she had been kidnapped. Jimmy had said it best: they were loyal to their friends.  
  
"Hey, Walt!"  
  
Skinner looked up disapprovingly. He hadn't noticed blond-haired Jimmy sitting at a computer. His face, which had been staring discouragingly at the computer just moments before, now broke out into a grin at the sight of Skinner. Although everyone had felt the death of the Lone Gunmen keenly, it was Jimmy who had taken the loss more painfully than everyone else. Beneath all his toughness, Jimmy had a sweet and sensitive nature. Which at times made him irritating to those around him, thought Skinner. Out loud, and sternly to get his point across, he said, "Don't call me that."  
  
The smile vanished from Jimmy's face and he nodded as Yves joined him beside the computer. Jimmy glanced at Yves and said, "He's in the back room. Said he needed some privacy. We hope she's okay. If there's anything we can do..."  
  
Skinner nodded in acknowledgement. But before he went in the back room, he took one last look at Yves and Jimmy as they worked on the computer, no doubt hot on the trail to bust some big conspiracy wide open. He knew that had he asked they would have helped him in an instant to try and find Monica. His heart swelled with a sense of pride. Some things were never lost. Langly, Frohike, and Byers might be gone, but two Lone Gunmen still remained to fight the lost causes.  
  
Of course, it was never easy to be left behind thought Skinner as his thoughts turned back ruefully to Doggett. Mulder and Scully, just like Lanely, Byers, and Frohike, had left behind a legacy for good people to follow and yet their leaving created an almost overwhelming sense of loss and emptiness to those left behind. Skinner walked down the hallway to the back room. John had already lost his son and Skinner feared that the loss of Monica would be the end of him. But there still was hope that Monica had not left them behind. Skinner took a deep breath and walked into the room. 


	18. Ex Files

Left Behind  
Chapter 18  
  
Doggett, his back to Skinner, was too engrossed in whatever was on his computer screen to have heard Skinner enter the room. Skinner opened his mouth to announce his presence to Doggett when he noticed what Doggett was looking at. He was absolutely floored. "Is that an x-file?"  
  
Doggett quickly turned, startled by Skinner. He quickly recovered and replied. "Yeah."  
  
"How.....?" As far as Skinner knew all the files had gone missing after the powers that be closed the X-Files office for good, at least it seemed so this time. There had been no time for any of them to make copies.  
  
"Jimmy and Yves just found these disks. Best we can figure, after the X-Files office burned down that time several years ago, and after Mulder recovered the files, he must have given the Gunmen copies, just in case someone decided that history should repeat itself. Scully must have continued in his absence because it looks like the files go right up to just before Monica and I took over. Perfect timin' wouldn't you say."  
  
Skinner thought it was a smart move but at the same time mentally upbraided Mulder and Scully for not telling him about this. Skinner looked back at the computer screen to see what specific files Doggett had been accessing. The result surprised him even more than the fact that they still had access to the files. "You're looking at alien abduction cases? You're looking into Mulder and Scully's abduction? You don't believe in that sort of thing." The truth was that he believed aliens had abducted Reyes, but he would never have expected Doggett to believe in it. Doggett was firm disbeliever in that. He had said so himself, under oath, at Mulder's trial.  
  
John tensed. He got up from the desk he was sitting at and began to pace. He was being eating alive by guilt and fear. John continued his pacing for a few moments and then said angrily, "I don't know what else to do! We've searched the woods, questioned Weasley, turned Weasley's life upside down, and interviewed the campers in the woods. It all points to Monica being abducted. Weasley says it's aliens but Mulder thought the government was in on Scully's abduction. Maybe Weasley is in on it with whoever kidnapped Monica. Maybe Weasley is part of this government conspiracy along with the super soldiers. We haven't exactly made friends bein' on the X-Files."  
  
Skinner looked at Doggett with compassion in his eyes and in his voice. "John you can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself about what happened to her."  
  
John exploded. "I'm not lying to anyone! I'm just trying to find my partner!" His outburst reverberated in the air. He instantly regretted it. John sank down exhausted back into his chair. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept. Between telling the Watkin's that their son was dead to his fears for Monica's well being, John had lost it. He didn't need to take it out on Skinner though. "I'm sorry," he said quietly and sadly. "It's just...when my son went missing, I thought I had done everything in my power to find him, to save him. I failed. But once I was assigned to the X-Files, I began to question if I had done everything in my power, if I had explored every possibility, the sort of possibilities that Monica and Mulder believe in. I just don't...I just don't want to make the same mistake twice. Not if I can save Monica."  
  
Skinner grabbed and extra chair and pulled it up beside John taking his own seat. He didn't need an apology from John. He wanted to find Monica alive and well just as much as Doggett did. "I just got the report back that we had been waiting on."  
  
John looked at Skinner. He could read the answers in his face. "He was related to her wasn't he." It wasn't a question.  
  
Skinner nodded. "They can't say how they are related, only that there were very distinct similarities that would only exist between family members."  
  
"Damnit," yelled John as he stood up, knocking his chair down as he did. "I should have listened to Monica. I should have known that she was in danger. I should have never brought her in on this case. Now I...I don't know what to do." He was no good alone with all this paranormal mumbo-jumbo. He needed Monica.  
  
Skinner stood up. He too felt as helpless as John. At least Mulder and Scully had been returned alive. If Colin's torture and death was any indication of Monica's fate, Skinner's fears were well founded. Skinner's heart sank as low as John's was with that very thought. 


	19. XFiles Regained

Left Behind  
Chapter 19  
  
Two Weeks Later  
  
John heard footsteps on the linoleum floor behind him and involuntarily tensed. He turned and saw who it was. "Is this your doin'?"  
  
Skinner shook his head as he further walked into the X-Files office. He looked around him. Everything was back-the computers, the desks, the files. Well almost everything, Skinner amended thoughtfully. Monica wasn't here. He half expected her to come walking in, alive and okay, laughing at them for their worries. Hell, he never expected the X-Files to be opened again and he half expected Mulder and Scully to come waltzing in.  
  
John took another long look around the office as if re-familiarizing himself with the place he called his home away from home for two years. There was more dust than he remember but pretty much all the big items had been put back into their places. "I couldn't believe it when A.D. Stricklyn called me into his office today and told me that the X-Files had been reopened, that I was being reassigned back to it." Doggett chuckled mirthlessly. "I thought he had called me in to yell at me for screwin' up the Watkins case and pursuin' unorthodox investigation leads and methods with Monica's."  
  
"Do you think he had anything to do with the X-Files being reopened?" Skinner asked concerned that someone was manipulating with them.  
  
It was John's turn to shake his head. "No. He seemed pretty pissed about the whole thing and at me. I'm sure he's more than happy to punish me by placin' me down here, or at the very least ruin my chances of risin' in the Bureau. But I don't think even he would want the X-Files reopened. No, his orders came from someone else, someone even higher up than he or you."  
  
"Maybe you have a friend in the FBI."  
  
"Maybe," said John, but by the tone of his voice Skinner could tell that Doggett didn't believe that for a second.  
  
John walked up behind the desk that Monica had used during her time on the X-Files. It was reserved for the resident believer he mused. He walked up to the big, brown bulletin board and gazed at its emptiness. There would be plenty of time to put back all the clippings and pictures that had been pinned up here. But there was one thing that had to be up before he could work here.  
  
John spied some colorful pushpins that had littered the floor. He picked up four and began to use them to put up the rolled sheet he had carried in his hand. It was the only remnant that had been left, one of the utmost value, that he had been allowed to take away from the office when it was closed months ago.  
  
Once his task was completed, both he and Skinner stared at Mulder's old poster that had previously graced the office. It was a picture of a flying UFO with the words "I Want To Believe" written at the bottom. John mulled over the words. Did he want to believe in the paranormal, in UFO's, and little green men? The answer was no. He didn't want to believe. If he thought long and hard enough, he was like Scully had been years before, afraid to believe. But did he want to believe that Monica would be returned alive and well. So if he had to believe in order to find Monica, if he had to work past his own fears to find her, he would do so. John wanted to believe. And yet at the same time, he felt the overwhelming fear creeping over him.  
  
John remembered that he wasn't alone in the office and he turned to Skinner. "I just...I just don't know if I'm the right person to be here. I want to find Monica more than anythin', but I don't think I'm the best person to do so. I can't do this alone. I'm no good with the paranormal. I've tried everythin' from tryin' to find out more about Colin's background, to Weasley, to alien abduction cases. There's absolutely nothin'. There's no sign of Monica. It as if she's disappeared without a trace but nothin' does that. If only there was some way we could contact Mulder and Scully."  
  
Skinner took a deep breath after hearing the frustration and sense of failure in John's voice. The past two weeks of fear and worry for Monica had taken their toll on him, and them all. He thought about telling John that even Kersh had said he had a better case solved percentage rate than Mulder, but Skinner was certain that Kersh had manipulated those figures for his own agenda-keeping Mulder off the X-Files when he was returned. "John," he began slowly, "you've done a great job on the X-Files during the time you were assigned here. You're a skeptic and this office always needs a skeptic. You've kept Dana and then Monica, grounded, focused. You know these files. You've learned from them. You're doing everything you can right now. You're going to find a way. I believe that. To save Monica, you're going to find a way."  
  
John nodded at Skinner's words. He was once again filled with renewed hope. He would find her alive. He had to. There was no other option.  
  
Skinner was able to see that his words had done some good. He turned to go, but before he did he stopped and told John: "You need to remember that you're not alone. You've got friends to help you whenever you need it."  
  
Before John could reply the phone rang. It startled both of them. It was a sound that had not been heard in that office for many months. John hesitated only a second before picking up the phone. "X-Files. John Doggett speaking." 


	20. Full Circle

Left Behind  
Chapter 20  
  
John saw the circle and his heart stopped beating. He feared he was already too late as he pulled his car off the road. He and Skinner exited the vehicle quickly leaving the headlights striking a beam of light into the darkness. John willed his leaden feet forward toward the Virginia State police officers that stood in a circle on the hill. He was so focused on the circle that he barely even noticed Skinner had fallen in a step behind him.   
  
John knew that circle. He knew what it meant. And yet a small spark of hope in him refused to die upon seeing the circle. The circle always meant death-the living surrounding the dead in an almost instinctive, protective manner. It had been so when he found Luke. It had been so when he first found Mulder. It must be so now. And yet maybe, maybe it's not Monica. It couldn't be Monica. If it was she had to be alive, she had to be okay. He, they, he corrected himself, had just gotten the X-Files back.  
  
John reached the circle and it opened, parted, letting him in, letting him become a participant, he and Skinner. But John refused to be a participant. He refused to be part of the circle. He walked inside the circle and got down on his knees. He knew, he knew it already, and yet refused to believe right up until he gently brushed the dark hair out of Monica's face. It was then that he believed. He believed in it all. In that moment he absorbed her beliefs and yet lost all faith at the same time. He had forced himself to believe in order to find her and it had amounted to nothing.  
  
Inside the circle, John's tears started to course down his cheeks, hot and heavy. He put his hand to her frozen bruised cheek and he mentally cursed those that had done this to her. They would pay for this. They would pay.  
  
He could feel Skinner and the other officers pulling him away, trying to separate him from Monica, separate life from death. Part of him knew they were worried about him tainting evidence. Evidence be damned. He already knew who was responsible. If he had to believe in order to make them pay, then that was a price he was willing to pay. If he believed in them, they couldn't hide from him. They had destroyed Monica and Colin in order to protect the project, to make certain colonization went right on schedule. Somehow Monica and Colin had been threats to their agenda and they had gotten rid of them. Well, John would make them rue the day they crossed his path.  
  
Denial, anger, grief all exploded in John at that moment. He had been a ticking time bomb and he had finally been set off.  
  
"Noooooo! Noooooo! Nooooooo!," John howled as they pulled him away, separating him from her. John refused to be parted from her. He refused to accept that she was gone, lost, and that he was forever separated from her. "Monica!!!!! Monica!!!!!!! Monica!!!!!!!!" he howled again and again and again. But she couldn't hear him. Not anymore.  
  
Suddenly, John thought he saw Monica take in a breath. Through the darkness and his tears he couldn't tell if it was his imagination or not. He continued to scream her name. "Monica!!! Monica!!! She's alive!!! Let me go!! She's alive!!" He really didn't know if she was or not but he continued to scream as they dragged him away. 


	21. The End

Left Behind  
Chapter 21  
  
John could feel a hand gently caressing the back of his head. His face automatically broke out into a smile. It was a good dream. Or was it?  
  
John slowly opened his eyes and was acutely aware of a crick in his neck. His body ached. His eyes, blurry, suddenly became focused. His head was lying on a bed, his body in a chair, and he was facing a wall? He wasn't at home. Suddenly everything from the past week came flooding back to John. Quickly, too quickly, he flipped his head over and took a look at the occupant of the bed.  
  
Monica, her face bruised, her body battered, smiled weakly at him. Her fingers, which had been playing with his hair, now sought out and touched his cheek. "I thought you were a dream."  
  
John could feel relieve wash over him like a gentle, warm summer rain. He tried to keep the mood light. He smiled. "A good dream I hope."  
  
Monica chuckled lightly. "The best."  
  
Concern for Monica then took priority. John sat up and took Monica's hand that had been lying on his cheek into his own two hands. Her hand was still cold. "Let me...let me call the doctor and she can...."  
  
Monica shook her head. "Please, can you please give me a few moments...."  
  
John understood. What Monica really wanted was a few moments alone with him. She wanted time to enjoy just being alive with him. Except for concern for her physical well being, John would have wanted it no other way.  
  
There was silence for a few moments as both looked at one another, taking in the sight. Physically, they were a sorry looking pair. Monica was beaten and bruised, shaken from her abduction. As for John, worry, fear, and too many sleepless nights were etched all over his face.  
  
Hesitant, John asked, "Do you...do you remember....?"  
  
Monica shook her head. "I had asked Weasley to take me to where Colin had been abducted. I was sure there had to be a clue there. We separated...there was a bright light and then...nothing, darkness, pain, cold. I think I remember some people and shouting, but I...I don't know."  
  
"It's okay. It doesn't matter. You're safe now." John gently relaxed his grip on Monica's hand that he had involuntarily been squeezing as she spoke.  
  
"How long?" Monica whispered.  
  
John smiled trying to dispel any fears. "Not long. A few days."  
  
Monica nodded grateful it hadn't been longer although it already felt like it had been forever. Then tears began to well into her eyes and slowly one let go and coursed down her cheek. It was sorrow that caused the tears to come, but it wasn't sorrow over her abduction. "I'm so sorry...so sorry, about the things I said to you, John. I'm sorry I went out there without you. I was wrong to question your beliefs. I was wrong not to tell you where I was going. I'm you're partner and I let you down."  
  
John was incredulous that Monica could be taking all this blame upon herself. He angrily shook his head. "Monica, I'm the one that should be aplogizin' to you. The things you said to me...you made some points that I can't dispute, that had some merit. It just shakes me that you read me too well sometimes. And just because we argued, I never expected...just please don't ever not tell me where you are goin' again okay? Don't you ever leave me behind again or go where I cannot follow."  
  
"I promise," said Monica quietly. She meant it  
  
"I should've backed you up in that meetin'," John said.  
  
It was Monica's turn to shake her head. "Not if you really didn't believe Colin was abducted by aliens."  
  
"I don't...I don't know what I believe, Monica. You, and Dana, and Mulder...you all have these ideas and...the truth is I could be a little more open."  
  
"Well I could be a little more skeptical."  
  
John chuckled. "We make quite a pair." John turned serious. "I was so afraid that those words were going to be the last you ever heard from me."  
  
"Me too." Monica's thoughts then turned away from herself. Hesitantly she asked, "If I'm here is Colin here too?"  
  
John took a deep breath. He had been planning on talking to Monica about Colin later, when she was feeling better. But he figured that since she had brought it up he might as well tell her. "I'm sorry, Monica."  
  
Monica turned her head away from John to look out the window. The sunlight poured in, warming her face as she tried to take it all in. "And was he...?"  
  
"Yes. There was too much damage to his body but there was enough of a match to show that in some way you were related to him."  
  
"I never got a chance to know him," Monica said quietly.  
  
"In some ways you will always know him."  
  
Monica turned her head back to face John. "Why did he die and not me?"  
  
John could see the sorrow in Monica's eyes and it pierced his soul to its very core. He was overjoyed that Monica was alive and yet he too felt for Colin's parents. He too knew all to well the pain of losing a child. "We might never know."  
  
Monica nodded, aware that she had asked a question that he could not answer. "There were times...times when it was so dark...there was so much pain...that I knew I could let go and it would all be over. And yet I held on. I could feel you. I knew you were out there. And if I could just hold on long enough...."  
  
John could feel tears welling in his own eyes that were threatening to release. "I felt so helpless. I wanted to save you but I didn't know how. I'm glad you held on." More than I can express to you right now, he thought.  
  
Monica smiled with that radiant smile he had been dreaming of. The one that lit up her eyes and warmed him almost as much as the sunlight pouring into the hospital room was doing. "So am I."  
  
John scooted in closer and pulled Monica into a hug that she gladly accepted. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he around her neck. He was gently so as not to hurt her injury any further. They both needed this affirmation. They both needed to feel whole again which they hadn't felt for many months, not since the X-Files had been taken away from them and they had been separated. They stayed that way for a long while until John gently broke the embrace giving Monica a heartfelt kiss on the forehead.   
  
He needed to talk to her. There were things that needed to be discussed. It would determine how things would proceed for them, professional and personally. "I have some other news to tell you." John could see the hesitation in Monica's eyes as if she was prepping herself for more bad new. John was quick to reassure her. "It's good news I think. We got the X-Files back."  
  
"What?" Monica was floored. Them getting the X-Files back after the mess that had been made was the last thing Monica would have every thought possible.  
  
"I don't know how or why, but while you were gone, someone gave the X-Files back to us. Skinner's not even sure where this came from. I didn't know after everything...if you wanted to..."   
  
John let his sentence trail off. Monica understood his hesitation. He was worried about her. The X-Files were dangerous and now after her ordeal... It would also mean that they would have to keep their professional side and personal side separate, at least for the time being. Mixing it may have worked for Mulder and Scully, but as their fight had proved they still had some way to go. But separating work and play didn't mean that they didn't care about each other...that they didn't love each other. This way they could both be back in the same town together doing something both of them loved and had meaning. "I need something to put my back up against right now. I need to know why this happened to Colin and I. I think some answers that I've been searching for my whole life may be in there. I think we know what drove Mulder and Scully into hiding now. We need to help them. We need to help everyone."  
  
John nodded. "I feel the same way." He was in total agreement with her-heart and soul. "So it looks like you're stuck with me again-partner." John was grinning at this point.  
  
Monica's face mirrored his own. "Looks like it."  
  
Both were startled when they heard a quiet knock at the door. Looking in that direction they both saw Jimmy, Yves, and Skinner through the window, holding flowers. They were obviously relieved to see Monica alive but hesitant to intrude on any private moment John and Monica were sharing.  
  
John and Monica waved them in. There would be plenty of time for John and Monica to say to each other what they already knew was in each other's hearts. Right now was time to celebrate life with all their present friends. And there was work to be done with which they would need all the help they could get. 


End file.
